![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb69e088f-a75b-4985-862a-28d875d1c5b1_474x706.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3fb3dfcd-8b19-45bb-b901-4f6cf8ce2c07_800x1018.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F88044cd7-9b55-4649-86d1-667c3a77afa5_236x314.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff064e19d-f657-467d-b9e1-4bc4f64c9898_473x631.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9f4b94bd-8b22-4d0a-a98b-e0f41a2a021e_1200x1800.webp)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd954a273-f43d-420c-9320-50c968b25f81_473x584.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1fa36819-667e-450e-86cb-f25bf52166ab_474x711.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F43d64a01-61f2-435a-a65b-e96e20c33276_474x705.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fee31d7e5-2715-441c-bdeb-2bbc969ffce6_1128x1136.png)
It’s my job, and it isn’t. Fashion, that is, but not shopping. I help brands with their eCom strategy among other things, so looking many hours / day at beautiful clothes online sparks this “add to cart” thing we all know all too well by now. My wardrobe’s future - still or sparkling? I ask myself this many times during the day as I see a pair of amazing oversized flowing trousers, or a gorgeous maxi linen dress, or the latest bag, or some shoes, or, or, or.. Ugh. In some cases, those who hire me want to send me things, but so far I have only accepted this from one brand, and it was four years ago. I don’t believe in free stuff, you see. Back then, the brand I was working with was one of my favorites because of their creative director. She is this amazing, strong, all over gorgeous woman. But that was it. So everything I own, I buy because I love - or I think that I love.
I have found myself more than once in front of an open box feeling overwhelmed, unsure of the clothes in front of me, but somehow never returning any of it. After a while, I would wear these items because I felt like I should, but the passion for them was just not the same as when I saw them online and caved.
One of my strategies for these brands I work with is to “make it real”. A lot of the times the lighting in the studio, the retouching of a pleat, the pinning at the back, etc., these are elements that make a model look SO good, and the clothes SO desirable and then when they are delivered to a real person, it’s like a deflated doll. Meh. Hence the rate of return being so high and all that. Of course, it’s not the only reason, but it’s one of the main ones. There is also that element of shooting on a beach, while I’m at home, cold and pouring outside, but wanting that kind of weather and buying those items in a moment of weakness and wishful thinking.
And for a long time, my wardrobe was an amalgam of the right emotions but wrong clothes. When we moved from Vienna to Canada I went from all I knew and four seasons to nothing familiar and nine months of winter. My wardrobe then was full of sweaters and coats. I am now in the US, and the weather is mostly nine months of summer. I have nothing to wear!! and I feel myself slipping back into this “add to cart” frenzy when I see a summer dress that looks good online, and while I do need some more summer clothes, a floral maxi dress is just not me, but somehow, it ended up at my door. Ugh all over again. And this is the reason why I need a break. I need to press pause on shopping because I feel like I am losing myself. Between the extreme heat, the humidity and my personality, my wardrobe is becoming yet again full of clothes that are right for the weather but wrong for me.
Of course, making a moodboard works, having separated my wishlist from my crave list worked wonders, but I still have moments of weakness. However, having every image that I love (all pictures via Pinterest) in one spot made me realize that 1) there is no flower in sight, and 2) I still love my neutrals.
This is all work in progress, but as I go along and draw from my own experience, this is how I keep myself from unnecessary splurging
wishlist different from crave list;
make a moodboard and have all images easy to open with one click (a physical board would work even better);
pull all spring/summer items and see what works and what you need to let go of;
incorporate other seasons if you can, for juxtaposition (accessories work also);
add to cart but don’t buy just yet; think it through for a few days (this is a new practice for me);
do I already have an item that could substitute my craving? Sometimes i’m attracted to a look, not an item per se, but then that’s how cravings followed by caving starts - I can’t take a certain piece out of my mind;
distraction. Do something else for a while - read, go for a walk, cook, etc. Whatever it is that can absorb me for a while works. The idea is to engage in a. different activity and walk away from my computer;
never shop on my phone. Miracle!;
delete all apps, unsubscribe from e-mails, don’t store my cards on my computer (never had Apple Pay, won’t start now).
What works for me might not work for everyone, but maybe you find some ideas on how to slow down if that is what you wish as well. And when you are surrounded by beautiful clothes and want some (or all) of them in your wardrobe, ask yourself this: “if I couldn’t buy anything else this season, is this the piece I’d love the most in my wardrobe?” Because it might or might now work with what we already have, but if it were to stand the test of (some) time - would it?
Happy Friday,
Dea xx
I so feel you, every word. My favorite thing has been to substitute shopping with walking or fixing coffee. But also declaring no online shopping on weekdays! Has given me my time back. I am reading more than ever. XO.